IBC Chpt 9-2

Iron Blooded Commander (Cover Art by Joel DuQue)

Iron Blooded Commander

- Chapter 9.2 -

Politics and Paperwork[]

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Lost in Schooling of the Orphans[]

Red Base
Zaniah III, Lyran Commonwealth
3021

A different perspective - Analise?

This was definitely the strangest mission she had ever been on. Things just didn't add up. It was like trying to complete a math equation but every time you get a non-answer like potato.

Analise was growing rather frustrated with the experience. It had been almost a month since she had arrived on Zaniah, and while she had seen no sign of League contacts, or Drac, or Capellan. That didn't mean something strange wasn't going on. No, in fact it only made this entire situation more suspicious.

There was so much for her to report on that it ended with the spy not sure where to start! The underground base which no one knew about. Equipment that she shouldn't have. The Sim pod room had caused her to gape in shock. The kids asking if she was alright was quite embarrassing.

It only seemed to get worse. Everywhere she turned was something peculiar. Rooms full of equipment. She had seen the armory when being issued a rifle for training. It was full. Wall to wall with guns and weapons.

She couldn't believe they had so much equipment. She had taken to writing her reports whenever possible even if she had been stuck on base during her 'boot camp' days. She was glad it was over. And she swore she would make the Commander pay for putting her through that. She hadn't run so much in years. She was a Mechwarrior! Not infantry!

Still she had made some contacts. Both with the new recruits like she was, who had taken a liking to her, and the older Iron Blooded that would very often grab a few orphans out of training and put them through some new task to learn. It was how she had met her favorite contact.

"So, Commander Eisen-Blume, just walked into the Orphanage one day and had a mech?" Analise asked, keeping the story of the IBO origins going.

"Yep! It was crazy! Vicky had always been a little weird but it was normal weird, not like that. So anyway we all wanted a ride in the Locust, but she said no. Which you know, fair. But we didn't give up, and then a few days later Benny is like "Who wants a job?" And well Benny is our brother you know? So we jumped on it, and then we were given equipment and weapons and told to guard Vicky's Mechbay, which was super fun at first! The pay was good too, but then well. We kept getting attacked."

"Oh? Attacks? I hadn't heard about this."

"Oh yeah the Locust originally belonged to some asshole, and he wanted it back or something? Well he was firebombing our trucks, he even shot an inferno missile into our mechbay!"

"How horrible."

"Yeah exactly so Vicky stood up, after chasing the guys down, and made this awesome speech about becoming a family and joining her and stuff. Super awesome speech so we all signed up, the old guy hasn't bothered us since."

"I see. I wasn't aware there was so much history of the company on Solaris." None at all really although considering the company was made and fled Solaris in the same week that made sense. Explained the lack of knowledge.

"Oh yeah but that's really it then we had the super long trip to Zaniah." The girl that Analise was pumping for information was a bit of a blabber mouth she had learned after meeting her, but she also gave away plenty of information to the spy. Enough to make it easier to fulfill her objectives.

LIC wanted to be sure the IBO weren't backed by a foreign power planning a surprise strike. It wasn't likely, but orphans aren't as protected as normal kids. Analise knew that very well. So it was always possible their leaders had been influenced by a foreigner in order to cause trouble.

But there were no signs of that. There were signs of something though. Analise knew she would figure it out. "Sorry Stephanie, I have to go. Talk to you soon!" She said and the younger girl waved her goodbye. Stephane was just one of the contacts Analise had targeted for easy information.

Some people love to gossip after all.

She stood stretching a bit. Analise had recently 'graduated' from basic training among the IBO and had then received her armor. It had taken some getting used to. Although even Analise admitted that armor was comfortable, the SLDF cooling suit made the armor almost an afterthought. Yet Analise never forgot what it was, and to her shock every one of the kids was wearing. She was probably wearing something worth an entire mech to the right buyer.

And they all had one. Every recruit once they were run through the basics were given a cooling suit as a uniform.

It had almost caused Analise to immediately leave to file a report. But she had held that urge in. If they were this free with cooling suits… What other Lostech had they found? Analise needed to know. So she stayed. The kids had been wary at first, until they learned she was an orphan as well although she was now old enough that wasn't relevant anymore, it was enough for them to accept her whole heartedly.

It was why she had learned so much about this strange group of orphans.

"Oh, Analise. Good. Come with me." Alfred Kurtz, a former LCAF Sergeant now a lieutenant in the IBO waved her over. He had been in charge of the basic training, and despite his obvious watching eyes, he had never treated her any differently from the other kids.

"Yes, Lieutenant Kurtz?"

"You haven't gone to the classrooms at all. Gauge sent me to remind you that he still wants to test you on where you are at in case you need any required courses."

"I graduated from schooling years ago, Lieutenant."

"Tell that to Gauge. He is currently in classroom one. Off you go, Private."

Irritated, she wanted to argue but despite being orphans, there was a military culture on the base. It was considered unthinkable to just argue with a superior officer, especially since many of the kids knew that following along is how you get a mech.

It was the oddest mix of military discipline, and a sort of casual environment Analise had ever seen. She had written an entire report on it as well.

Saluting the older man she turned and stalked off. Irritating, this was her first free day since she joined, she had been planning on leaving base and heading to the HPG to send her initial results, she was sure that her commanding officer would be fascinated with the strange proliferation of lostech on display if nothing else. Instead she turned back down, heading towards the learning section of the base.

She entered the classroom that was currently running some sort of education course over the HoloVid. The room wasn't packed, but there were plenty of members of what she recognized as the Repair Unit watching avidly, and taking notes. Gauge waved her over. "Come sit over here, we are going to give you our placement test." He tells her, nearly pushing her into a second room connected to the main classroom.

Once inside the sound from the holovid cut off but not the video. The large window on the side of the room let her see out. Irritated, she started writing out the answers to the test. Some she was surprised to find were quite advanced. In fact some of the questions were well above anything she had studied in her own classes.

The surprise distracted her enough that she found herself instead of focusing on the test watching the Holovid out the window. The video was some sort of learning video. It was weird though. It seemed old. The production value was both old, and advanced. As she watched, she watched some people in zero gravity pouring out some sort of foam.

Which hardened into shape. As the video continued her eyes widened as she realized what it was she was seeing. She stood opening the door quietly to listen in.

Listening as a scientist long dead went over the process and creation of Endo-Steel.

She had completely forgotten that she still needed to complete the test.

Threat from within[]

I was resting in my office going over some of the training reports from the newbies when my door was pushed open.

Analise, looking less put together than I had ever seen her before, was standing there, looking at me like I was some wild animal ready to attack her. "Commander Eisen-Blume. I need you to know that I finished a report and it's currently held by another agent to be sent out on the next HPG pulse if I don't tell them to hold it. So you need to be very clear with me. Who are you?"

That was an odd question. "Victoria Eisen-Blume. Solaris Orphan, Commander of the Iron Blooded Orphans." If she wants a stupid question I guess I'll give her a stupid answer.

Her face for probably the first time since I knew her showed a lot of real emotion, this wasn't Analise the spy, this was a woman who was feeling actual human emotion. Even if it was anger at me, it made her way less creepy. "Don't fuck around with me. I walked into a classroom today, and there was a lesson on Gravitic engineering. One of the products of which is Endo-Steel. I watched. A how to course on how to create Endo-Steel… No one has that knowledge… Except you."

"Well and I suppose you now." I answered as I pushed my stack of papers to the side. Finally a good excuse for Benny. 'Sorry I couldn't read through your boring reports because I had a spy losing her shit in my office. Sorry not sorry!'

"That! This isn't a joke!"

"No, I suppose from your perspective this is the most serious moment of your life." I sigh leaning back. Dammit Gauge. I gave you one job… Well no I gave you lots of jobs. Okay nevermind. "Sit down Private Analise."

"I am not a Private. I am Hauptmann Eris Stingler, and as a member of Lohengrin, with the authority of the Archon of the Commonwealth. I am demanding answers."

"I answered the only question you actually asked me so far, Eris Stingler of Lohengrin."

She twitched, irritation covering every inch of her "Fine since you want to be obtuse. Who are you to have that knowledge? No one knows how to make Endo-Steel."

"Well besides ComStar. But I found it. How else?"

"ComStar? What does- No Stop evading. You found the knowledge of how to make Endo-Steel and haven't turned it over to the Archon?!"

"Oh, Eris, I found the knowledge on how to make everything, and haven't yet turned it over to the Archon, because I have no way of getting it to her without everyone in the Inner Sphere finding out."

She blinked at me, processing what I had just said. Her eyes suddenly alight. "I heard a rumor that your mother was a Lostech hunter. She, or you did it. You found a Memory Core."

"My Mother discovered the location, I went out and retrieved it. You might have heard about my journey into FWL territory? Well I was traveling to a hidden Castle Brian on the world of Helm. The man in charge of Helm, Major Edwin Keeler, late of the SLDF realized the truth. With the SLDF gone, the Succession wars were going to destroy us. He thought that we would bomb ourselves into the stone age. Like we almost did. So he gathered everything he could, every learning course, every science book. Everything. He stored it in the Castle Brian, along with probably a brigade of metal."

The woman looked at me, but I wasn't sure if she was seeing me. Her eyes were glazed over. Shocked at what I had just revealed. "You have a SLDF Memory core."

"I do."

She shakily took the seat across from my desk. Feeling particularly kind I pulled a bottle of water out from my mini fridge and passed it over. I mean it's not like I could offer her a shot of whiskey or something.

I was underage!

"You need to hand it over. I will take it in an-"

"No."

She blinked and in that moment I could see the weapon that the girl had been trained to be behind her eyes.

"Not because I'm not planning on handing it over to the Archon I already explained that, but because I will only hand it directly into the Archon's hands. Anyone else. Anyone. Could let it leak. The moment it leaks a countdown starts. You know that. LIC might be one of the best Intelligence branches, but can you trust every member? Every noble in charge? How many of them would make a copy and sell it off to another power?"

"Many of them." She said weakly. If it had been anything else she would have argued. She was a patriot after all, every member of Lohengrin was, but this was too important. Even patriots recognized the rot in their own members. That was the biggest part of their job after all.

"So the plan was to continue building up forces until I got a dropship… Then… Well I have a plan to earn a face to face meeting. But I have been putting it off."

"No more. If you won't hand it over to me to hand over. You will hand it over to the Archon now. No more delays… if you try I will be forced to kill you."

I groaned. This was why dealing with spies was such a pain in the ass! "Yeah yeah. Get over yourself. That's the plan. Fine. I guess it's time to begin operation… Sorry you became a Ghost."

"What?"

"Geeze everyone's a critic!"

I got Guy I need to talk too[]

"I don't understand." Eris muttered as we drove out into the desert. I wasn't exactly looking forward to this.

"I know you don't but you will, especially since you haven't let me out of your sight all day."

"You carry the most important piece of technology in the Inner Sphere. I don't know if I can trust you, so I will make sure you have no chance to run."

"If I wanted to run Eris, I would just have you killed and then no one would even know. I don't really care about whatever message you gave to your other 'agent' by the time it was sent to anyone, I would be long gone."

The silence that spread from between us lasted a little too long and I sighed. "But I have no intention of doing that, so relax. I'm Lyran, I don't like the League, I don't like Liaos. And I absolutely hate the Combine."

"That still would leave the Federated Suns." She mentions calmly. All I could do was snort at that. "You mean the FedSuns that are currently making a peace deal with the Commonwealth? The ones that will likely receive their own copy of the Memory Core not long after I hand it over?"

"Yes."

"See? Sounds stupid. Relax, we are here." I say and on the horizon as we climbed a dune in the truck, we could see it. St. Marinus House. "I am not looking forward to this." I groaned as I pulled up to the Sanctuary.

"... This is the St. Marinus House… You are here to speak to Morgan Kell." Eris spoke slowly, putting it all together.

"Right in one, now I just need to convince a sanctuary I need to speak to one of the people they are protecting, and do it all hopefully without stressing out a bunch of mechwarriors that fled the war. C'mon." I tell her, pulling up to the front entrance, I step out, grabbing the large package I had brought with me out of the back seat and huffed as I pulled it into my arms. Moving towards the large wooden doors that were already opening.

"Guess it's time to change the universe."

My statement earned me an odd look from Eris and I sighed, seriously this is what is wrong with spys. No sense of drama!

The doors of the sanctuary opened. And out walked an older man, graying hair and more interestingly, gray eyes. Wearing a well worn habit. "Good evening. I am Brother Giles, I am afraid we do not accept visitors here. Unless one wishes to join us." The old man offered as he looked over both Eris and I. The fact we were wearing armor probably hinted that we weren't exactly here to join.

"Apologies for bothering you, Brother. I am Victoria Eisen-Blume, Commander of the Iron Blooded Orphans, this is Eris Stingler, of Lohengrin." I added knowing that the name of a division of LIC would give me more respect than my company name. "I know I am asking for much, but I am afraid I must have a meeting with Morgan Kell. It is… A very serious matter."

I could see the older man's eyebrows crinkle as I mentioned the LIC division. "I see. We no longer take part in matters of the Inner Sphere. I am afraid that Morgan Kell is not seeing visitors."

"I know. I would have come here, especially here, if this wasn't so serious. I'm not. I'm not asking him to leave, or take part, I need to speak with Mr. Kell regarding who he knows, more than anything he has done. I don't have any interest in him as a Mechwarrior… if that helps?"

"I am afraid it is the duty of St. Marinus house to shield any who seek it from the outside world. I apologize we can't, and won't help you."

Fuck. This old man was such a pain in the ass.

"I understand that. Again this is more important. It's very likely the most important thing I have ever done. Please. I need to speak to Morgan Kell. Five minutes. If he refuses to speak to me any further after that I will never return."

Brother Giles, which wasn't even his real name. Shook his head. "I am sorry. The purpose of this house is important. The men and women that come here, do so to be protected. I will not besmirch that for anyone. No matter how important they believe their need."

"Oh you think so?" I grumble pulling off the bag I was carrying. "Give this to Morgan Kell then. I will wait out here for an hour. I bet you he will see me once he realizes what it is." I offer stomping forward to push the heavy bag carrying a copy of the Memory Core into the brothers arms. There was also a noteputer inside for easy searching of the database. Despite his attempts to refuse I pushed it into his arms.

"Please. Just give it to him, and if he checks it, he will understand. I won't say anything further if in an hour he doesn't come to see me."

I don't know if it was what I said, or the look of horror on Eris's face at me relinquishing the Memory core to this no name man. After all, how could she know this was actually Hermann Steiner? A good man who removed himself from succession so Katrina could become Archon.

It seems something I had said caused at least a tiny inkling of interest as finally he relented. "I will do this much. Ask nothing more, and leave if he does not wish to speak to you."

"Agreed. On my honor." I reply and wait for the older man to grab the bag and head inside.

"That was foolish! You can't simply hand over the Memory Core to anyone!" Eris hissed at me and I didn't say anything at first. "You have no idea what that man could do with a Memory Core, what if he takes it and runs? Wh-"

"That man is Hermann Steiner."

Jaw hanging open for a moment Eris's face goes flat as she processes what I had just said. "I see."

"Yeah that's my second option if Morgan doesn't agree to help. One of them will. I am sure of it."

"And if they don't?"

"Then I leave and do something stupid." I grin. "If you can't do the smart thing, do something stupid instead."

"I don't believe that is.. Where are you going?"

I walked back to the truck. "I'm gonna sit inside the truck. It's hot out here, even with the armor. Come on. You can yell at me some more inside."

"I am not yelling." She argues as she follows after me.

She totally was.

Meetings and Travel Plans[]

Lyran Commonwealth Space
3021

I was just getting ready to leave, an hour-ish later when the doors of the Sanctuary finally re-opened. This time Brother Giles came out in a hurry, rushing towards my truck. I stepped out and the older man stopped suddenly, his breath coming out in sharp gasps, and his Steiner Gray eyes wide and in shock.

"I'm glad, I was afraid I was going to hand it over and you and Mr. Kell were going to just ignore it."

"That… That is a Star League Memory Core."

"It is. Now, can I speak to Morgan Kell now? As you can probably tell, I have something important I need from him. Or from you."

His eyes closed for a moment and when they reopened, I knew I wasn't dealing with Brother Giles sending off annoying pests that dare come and disturb the men and women that came here for peace.

No, I was dealing with Hermann Steiner who in another time could have been Archon.

"Yes. Commander Eisen-Blume, please be welcome at the St. Marinus House. We have many questions."

"Excellent. I have some answers." I offer cheekily, as Eris shifted herself beside me, the realization for her she was dealing with a Steiner meant she was acting extra respectful, and I am sure it was the only reason she didn't nag me to be more respectful.

Nodding his head the older man turned and I followed him into a place that few ever got the chance to visit. The long halls were quiet, although I did pass a few men and women as we walked the halls. We got plenty of strange looks, and some looks of horror as well.

I guess for a bunch of people who left the war when it became too much, seeing a young girl in armor… Well I could understand it. Although I wasn't about to let that stop me.

We came into a small room with a well worn but comfortable looking table. And sitting there, looking just as awed as Brother Giles had, was Morgan Motherfucking Kell.

I was pretty sure that was his full name.

This guy was 'the' badass. The man that died of old age. One of the very few that ever got that ending. And he had done it while fighting the whole time.

"Morgan Kell." I said into the room, catching his attention and pulling his eyes away from the screen of the Noteputer I had left with the Memory Core. "I am Victoria Eisen-Blume. Commander of the Iron Blooded Orphans. How do you like my Memory Core?"

The man blinked. Having just barely torn his eyes away from the screen to watch me as I gave my introduction. As if realizing he had been so distracted he hadn't noticed me enter his hand ran up and stroked through his beard, which even now was tinged with gray.

"I think… That you found something rather special, Commander." He offered slowly, as if he considered every word and only bit them out when he was satisfied.

"Thank you. It was a pretty risky job. I'll happily tell you about it if you like, but before that. Business." I took a seat across from him and I noticed his eyes rove over my armor curiously. "I want to put that into the hands of Katrina Steiner, no one else. Because anyone else will mess it up."

He considers this and nods slowly. "I see. That's why you came here."

"Indeed! I am an unknown, going to Tharkad? Even if I wanted to hand that over, it would get out. Too many men and women protecting the Archon, they would never let me get that in her hands before someone finds out what it is. But…"

"But I could do that." He nods. His eyes closed as he exhaled heavily. "I don't know if I am ready to leave, but needs must."

"Not exactly." I interrupt. Stopping that line of thought entirely. His arched eyebrow made me smile, Morgan Kell was not a man used to being argued with I guess. "You could walk right up to the Archon and hand that to her, but there is another way that I could do that. A letter, or a message. If I head to Tharkad with a message from Morgan Kell, the Archon would definitely see it. If that message happened to inform the Archon that she needs to have a private meeting with the messenger?"

He tilted his head thinking it over, quietly stroking his beard as he seemed to run the scene through his head before shaking his head. "No. I came here because I felt… Well, it doesn't matter. You did well on the recent raid."

"Oh. You heard about that?" I asked

"We still get the news. Some choose not to watch it, but it is difficult for us to completely cut ourselves from the rest of the Inner Sphere. You and your orphan company. You fought well."

I blushed! What else could I do! This guy was a legend! "We tried."

He broods on that for a while. "Yes. What does that make me? That I stopped. My childhood dream." He glances at the Memory Core. "It was a dream of mine to find this exact thing. A Memory Core that can bring back the lost knowledge. I stopped trying, and in my stead a child completed it."

"I'm fifteen. Hardly a child. At least call me a teenager." I grumble, which had the older man give me a chastising look for a moment before nodding.

"It seems I left for too long… I will go back to Tharkad. Let's get this into Katrina's hands. I refuse to not be part of this." He stood grabbing the Memory Core before I waved him off.

"Leave that one. I was intending on leaving it here. I figure if everyone here wants to avoid the rest of the Inner Sphere, they might appreciate all the learning courses on the core."

Brother Giles hesitated as did Morgan Kell. "We can't leave this here Commander. We have a duty to return the core to the Archon." Giles eventually offered although I could tell he was hesitating as well.

I just snorted "That's a copy of a copy. It only has learning courses. Don't worry, we will be delivering the complete version to the Archon. So it's okay to leave this one."

Both men stilled. "The complete Core?" Morgan finally asked and I nodded. Waving my hand to and fro.

"Yeah, this one has all the SLDF training courses, they were classes for the soldiers while they were away. So it has a lot, but Helm, Oh Helm is where I got the Memory Core. It had a secret Castle Brian hidden up in the mountains. Anyways. Helm wasn't just a weapons depot for the entire sector, it was also a Library. Edwin Keeler a Major in the SLDF, well he saw what was coming with the Succession Wars. So he put everything he could find and put it into the Memory Core. Civilian, Military, Secret tech if he had it. He put everything into it. I wouldn't bring the full Core anywhere that I don't have full security for after all."

The looks of shock on the two men's faces had me smirking, as they realized what they had seen over the last hour? It hadn't even been everything. Brother Giles swayed for a moment and it was only Eris's quick reaction to him that caused her to rush forward to catch the former Steiner, as it looked like his world was crashing around him.

Morgan Kell? Well his look of shock slowly shifted until he was looking me over with an odd look. I just smiled in return "I have a Union that I ordered to get ready for a trip to Tharkad, if you don't mind riding with a bunch of Orphans."

"That will be fine, Commander. Just let me get my ride."

That was how I drove back to RedBase, Eris beside me looking startled, and a red and black colored Archer walking behind us.

The base was a stir by the time we came within sight. A new 'mech always grabbed attention, and I am sure our Guard unit had noticed the Archer we were leading.

Pulling past the very attentive checkpoint guards I pulled the Norman towards the Isaribi that was currently resting on our Dropship pad. I hadn't intended on bringing Morgan Kell back with me, but it wasn't too difficult to radio ahead and make sure one of the mech Gantries were open and ready for him.

Watching him pull his mech into the open gantry actually sent a bit of a thrill up my spine. He moved so gracefully in a mech it reminded me that as much as my kids were improving, the real elite of elites were on another level.

"Go on, Eris, get packed up. I know you are going to want to come with. Oh and I don't know what you put into that message with the other agent. But that is still a problem." I tell the girl as I stepped out of the truck watching the spy keep her eyes locked on me for a while before nodding.

"Understood, Commander Eisen-Blume." She was back to being rather monotone, but that was fine. That was just how she was. Nodding, I turned back to Morgan Kell as I watched him slip out of his Archer, already I could see Benny rushing up to me, to find out what was going on.

"Is-Is that Morgan Kell!?" Benny asked before I could even call out a greeting as he hit me like a missile, stumbling a little I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, Mr. Kell accepted our offer to transport him back to Tharkad. It's time we have that meeting with the Archon… Things started happening that removed the option of sitting and waiting any longer."

That pulled Benny from his hero worship as he looked at me questioningly.

"Our spy, Analise, her name is Eris Stingler, make sure you update her records. She found out that we had the knowledge on how to make Endo-Steel… Blame Gauge. She freaked out. Forced me to act. So now we are moving. No more sitting and waiting." I looked ahead. This single act was going to impact so much, I honestly wasn't sure how the Archon would react to this. I only knew her from third hand. Hell I had never even read a book she was in!

I guess it was time to see. I crossed my fingers, hoping that she truly was looking for peace. Because I was about to put the most powerful weapon in the Inner Sphere into her hands. Knowledge.

"Benny. Break out the Red Lance's new mechs. Try to keep them hidden for now, but if something happens while I am gone. Then it's past time we stopped jobbing. I'm gonna go load up my new ride. Not about to show up to meet the Archon in a Locust." I joke and Benny looked like I had just given him his birthday Christmas, and his first born at the same time.

"You are my favorite." He whispered to me as he hugged me tightly and I laughed.

"Of course I am! I'm everyone's favorite!"

INTERLUDE Canon or is it?[]

Red Base
Zaniah III, Lyran Commonwealth
3021

"We are gathered here today for the public trial of one of our own. He acted without thought or wisdom for the future, and put us all at risk. I will allow a few words in his own defense."

Gauge sighs "First. I want to say. Tying me up and hanging me from a Battlemech? Bitch, move."

"The court hears your complaint and ignores it! The tradition stands!"

"Then the only thing- wait. Hold on. I'm spinning… Just a second I'll be back around in a- ah okay. The only thing I want to say is that It's not my fault. You gave me like thirty jobs. I was distracted watching the Gravitic engineering video. They are really- Ah hold on. Spinning again. I'll be back around in just… Okay there. They are really interesting, and I didn't really want to watch Analise during her test."

"The defense is accepted and rests."

"Wait! That wasn't my defense was it? This isn't a trial this is a Kangaroo Court!"

"The defense RESTS! Now as the Commander and the duly appointed judge for this preceding there is only one punishment harsh enough! One punishment that is almost strictly outlawed by our laws!"

"Wait… Isn't there only one law abou-"

"BRING OUT THE BUNS OF SHAME!"

"-t the sandwich joke? You can't be serious."

"Place the buns. You know what to do!"

Gauge sighed. "Is this really necessary Benny?"

"Just go with it Gauge. It was either this, or worse. Trust me. We talked her into this… You know how much she overreacts whenever this gets brought up."

"Fine… Just get this over with."

"GAUGE, WHAT ARE YOU!?" Benny yelled out suddenly.

"An idiot sandwich." He sighed. He would get Vicky for this. He was pretty sure she had actually spread mayo on the buns just to make it feel even worse as Benny held them over each of his ears.

"LET THE PUNISHMENT REST! DISMISSED!"