BattleTech Fanon Wiki
Dead Man's Hand - Family Values (Chapter Cover Art) 1

Chapter 31[]

Dead Man's Hand: Family Values[]

St. Barbara's Church
Ia Drang, Kowloon
Bucklands Province
Lyran Alliance
26th August, 3058

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." Joker sat, dressed in plane civilian cloths, inside the confessional box, "It has been...eighteen months, roughly, since my last confession."

"Times are difficult for everyone, my child." the priest spoke from the other side of the partition, "What matters is that you are here now."

"I need.. guidance, Father." the mercenary admitted, "I had an experience recently that has left me with...questions... concerns."

"The Lord gave us minds that we might question His great creation. What exactly troubles you?"

"I had... I died, Father. I'm told I was clinically dead for just under two minutes. But, in that time I... I saw something. No, it's more than that, I experienced something. I was somewhere else... not heaven, but I don't know, Father."

"People who have had similar experiences to the one you described have spoken of similar things. Of seeing other places..."

"It goes beyond that, Father. I wasn't alone in... that other place. I saw my mother, who I never met in life. She gave me up when I was born, and I had only just learnt who she was, after her death. She was there, and we talked."

"Do you believe that you truly saw her? Or that your subconscious mind gave you the chance to seek the closure you were denied in life?"

"I do not know, Father, but I have had other... experiences, that lead me to believe that what I saw was real."


"I was... in a very bad place, Father, where truly evil people where hurting the innocent because they could. Those I was with, my friends and I, when we went to stop them..." Joker paused, trying to put her experience into words, "We all saw things, different things, that we were told afterwards didn't happen. But I know what I saw: I saw a great light, and from it emerged the form of a man, but made out of fire, with six burning wings, and I watched as it delivered judgment upon the evil, and saved the innocent."

"You believe that you saw one of the Seraphim?"

"I don't know what I saw, Father. Afterwards, they told me that I'd been exposed to something that made me see things, but..."

"Your heart tells you otherwise?"

"I've always been a person of faith, Father, even through all I've seen and done. I have no delusions about how far I have strayed from His path, but I have always tried to keep my actions... I've never hurt anyone I didn't have to, or wasn't in a position to hurt me back. Yes, I've shed blood, but never knowingly of the innocent, and I've tried to protect those who cannot protect themselves. I don't know if what I have done is enough to make up for my transgressions, but..."

"God knows the truth of your heart, my child, better than you know it yourself." the priest assured her, "If you have truly tried to walk His path in these most trying of times, He will know."

"I hope so, Father, but there is more." Joker took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, "When I... died, I had just given birth. A daughter. Her father... a man I loved more than I have ever loved anything or anyone, and who loved me back. He died before I found out I was expecting. And yet..."

"You did not see him?" the priest asks

"No, Father. And if he wasn't there..."

"You fear that you will not be reunited in Glory?"

"Why else wouldn't he have been there?"

"When he died, was he happy? Was there anything unsaid between the two of you?" he asks

"No, Father: we were... perfect." said Joker

"And then would he have had any reason to believe that you would come to harm?"

"I Don't believe so, Father. He knew me, the things I have done, the things I can do, if needed."

"Then he was no doubt at peace, knowing that the one he loved was safe. I am sure that he is with God, and will be waiting for you in heaven. And I am also certain that he is watching over you, and your daughter, sure as anything."

"I hope so, Father." Joker admitted, feeling at peace once again, "I truly hope so."

Previous Chapter - Return to Story Index - Next Chapter